whatcha say

GAH i WANT TO WORK.

i cant stand being bored at home=(

nowadays all i do is sleep, swim, shop, hang around with my dearest buddies and jog.

gahhhhhhhh zinnia needs to stop spending money and start saving uP!>.<

well im off to malaysia tmr so yep hopefully the shopping spree will be satsifying=D

that a lie which is half a truth is ever the blackest of lies; that a lie which is all a lie may be met n fought with outright; but a lie which is part a truth is a harder matter to fight.

alferd, lord tennyson

why do i feel so confused nowadays O.O

there are things we dont want to happen but have to accept

there are things we dont want to know but have to learn

and there are people we cant live without but have to let go.

the truth is, im scared.

-zee

WAKAKAK

okay no more sad posts, just happy posts=D

just went swimming and am going to meet cyn jh chee and qi to play badminton followed by towning with van to prep her for prom.

yupps.. trying to get a job but i DUNO why i just cant seem to get any.

either the pay is too low orrrr... i just dont wanna work at the place.

shesshh i wanna work at wild wild wet or smthing=\

life's been pretty fine.

im doing fine despite moments of pain.

so yeah im riding on STRONG=DD

cant wait to meet van ltr. it has been like 100000 YEAARRS since we met*pouts*

hopefully tdy will be fun..XD

-zee

the longest yet

well, today went pretty well.

i enjoyed my time with my friends and all.

but despite all the fun and laughter, i realised, at the end of the day, the problem will, would and is still dangling at the corners of my heart.

as i took the mrt ride home and looked out of the window, emotions just kept stirring and stirring within and though i felt tears appearing at the corner of my eyes, i held them back because i told myself "im not gonna cry again".

how i really wished right now, there was a shoulder for me to cry on, someone who will take away every bit of pain im feeling and tell me " its okay".

ive prayed countless times for god to give me such comfort but at the end of the day why do i still feel the same?

loads of people kept prompting me to solve the problem, but why dont i have the courage to?

probably yes, im just a timid a useless person.

yet, why is growing up so painful?

why MUST i grow up?

i wished none of these problems existed in the first place.

yes, im doing pretty fine right now, but every night before i slp, these thoughts will revisit my mind and give me nightmares.

i didnt lie to u so pls dont accuse me just because ure angry now. u have no idea how much ur smses hurt me. u really dont.

-zee

another day

zinnia= pure stupid.

i need some tennis rackets and tennis balls now.

so that i can hit it realllllll hard

be strong be strong be strong be STRONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

BE STRONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

i can pull through. i know i can=|

-zee

pong

y am i feeling this way=\

forlorn

just so u know, putting all the bad things aside, looking at the relationship at another perspective, i just realised how much this relationship matters to me..

how much like other girlfriends, i want u to be happy without being jealous.

how sometimes i wished that we didnt have any problems to start with.

now my heart is just... searing with pain... and im hating it.

ure right, prob we do need a break to figure things out between ourselves.

plus ure going europe soon so it will be a good opportunity for u to think things through.

but back to the point,

the point is that i love you and thats one fact i cant avoid no matter how much the situation im in sucks now.

but i'll pull through.

i need to be strong.

-zee

hai

lol went town tdy with chelsea=D pretteh fun i must say.

at least i managed to get things off my mind for a while.

gah im going out everyday with my gf's and now im like literally broke!

zzzzzzzzzz someone helpzxzxzx

i really dont know what must i say to make u trust me.

ive already made my point clear.

its really up to you whether u wanna get over this problem.

im more than willing to accomodate.

all i can say is that u do mean a lot to me, but if this is gonna work, like u said u need to will to get over it urself and i'll do my best to help.

but at the end of the day, it really lies in whether u are strong enough to face it.

and i'll still be there.

btw ppl im taking a break from my hp the next few days, it actually started yesteday but yeah.

-zee

-zee